A Wreck Can Change You

July 11th 2015 - 10:42 PM

The date and time of our first bad wreck. 

The day that made me appreciate life 

regardless of our infertility.

A guy on his Chopper ran a left turn red light. 

Ive always joked that my car is the #1 Model

of my own brand - Invisi-Car..

Because NO ONE seems to be able to 

see my car.. 

And also I blame erratic FL drivers. 

My husband tried to protect me as soon as he

saw the guy trying to book it through the light..

I was pressing the horn when the impact happened.

So my hand is all bruised and swollen. But

Shawn took most of the blows to his face.

They think when he moved towards me 

he caught the edges of both bags coming towards

center. So the lining of each bag caught his face. 

It hurts me just to look at him. I wish I could

help him feel better.

Taking him to the eye doctor tomorrow to see

if any permanent damage is done.

Grateful for life. 

And even more grateful we didnt have a 

child in the car with us. 

Loss VS Lost

Well ladies and gents....

 One of our biggest concerns during our journey

is that my body wasn't allowing the egg and 

sperm to meet and place. That maybe my uterus 

was not a "Safe Zone" to grow our child.

So... we have Good/Bad News:

We just found out last week I had a miscarriage, 

and based on all signs and symptoms this isnt our first one.. 

 We've have multiple a yr, for the last 5 yrs.... 

I spoke to my mother a few days ago and 

she informed me of a rare chromosome she carries. 

This chromosome causes her to not be able to carry 

to full term, and if she does shes on bed rest and 

monitored the whole pregnancy.. which she was

for me as well as my 3 brothers.

Her body like mine, fought the baby off like a virus. 

(I was told I have an overly active immune system)

She had over 20 miscarriages before giving birth to me.

She was never told if it was genetic or not so now 

I have to be tested for it. Yes, it is something to go off 

of and may answer the rest of our questions. But it still

is hard to swallow that my family could have already 

been started.

She never put two and two together. 

So she never mentioned it.

But we will be looking into the blood 
work we need to get done in the next 
4 weeks. I rather get that done before 
going to the Naturopathic/
Homeopathic Doctor.

Cheers to Going Naturopathic

I want to apologize for my absence.

Recently I have been having a hard time

swallowing baby news from multiple relatives.

Two being under the age of 18.

After receiving our news of course 

you know.. when it rains it pours.

I start getting all this baby news and I wanted

nothing more then to be happy for them, 

but for some reason could not find 

it in myself. 

I felt so guilty and so ashamed for

not being able to feel happiness. 

Now I realize I can not put my time into it.

Adding that stress is only making this journey

harder to bear. 

Now I have decided to put my OBGYN and 

Reproductive Endocrinologists Diagnosis to the side..

 And see a Naturopathic Doctor. 

The medications I was taking for my thyroid made 

me feel so sick. So down. So tired.

First Appointment is June 26th. 

Also doing acupuncture in between :)

Will keep you updated on how it goes!

The plan is to try this way for at least 1 year.

Most Recent News

Well 03/23/2015

We went in for the blood work results.

As well as for a PK test which is a 

Post Coital test.

As for the blood results we were

told everything was normal, and my eggs were

very healthy. He stated the only thing that he
wants to correct is I have high levels of
Prolactin. Even though I have never
been pregnant.

So more medications it is.
Then as he continued to give the PK results..
He *sighs*

...Great we know whats coming...

It was good and bad.
Good in the sense we can have children.
Bad in the sense we need an expensive procedure
everytime we want to just conceive our child.

*Even though Im always sick*
My body apparently has a functioning immune system.
So he said Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) is our
best bet as of now. And even warned us it may not take.
And in that case we go to In-Vitro (IVF).

He wants us to do an IUI in May but we
just dropped our whole savings account into moving, and
things our car needed with the weather change.



We started a Go Fund Me to help with round one.
We are saving also in case there has to be a round two.
We appreciate any one who can share this.

Coming to terms?

Well on 03/09/2015

My husband and I were both tested to figure out 

why we have not had a child yet by a reproductive
endocrinologist - AKA - Fertility Specialist.

Good and Bad News 

was given...

Shawn has yet to be tested in the 9 years we have been together.

Good news - his semen analysis came back a 100% normal. All around.

Bad news - I once again didn't get good news.

It was pretty basic news.. But that day I didnt take it so well.
*May be TMI for some*
 I was told I have too much mucus on my cervix.
Especially considering I am to have AF visit this week..
Supposed to not have that much till after my period.

 Now I need more tests, more $$$ Out-Of-Pocket.
He said it still shouldn't cause us 7 years of nothing. And that he
is going to fix what he is seeing to be a problem now.

-Also-
He said he needs to get us pregnant ASAP, but since my surgery
and all that wasn't that long ago. He doesn't want to rush my body.

I am excited to see where it goes. Im yay and nay about the news.

FX and BabyDust

I Have A New Facebook Group!

So we can all relate..

We would like others to talk to that understand

what we go through right?

We would like a hate free zone..

One with no bullies.. No harsh words...

No crazy rules..

Well I created a group for those who would like that. 

The WombWars (TTC, Infertility)

I found that most of the FB groups

were mean, and not very supportive.

Doesnt hurt to have another group

that is there for support.

Also for help when posting:

MUCH LOVE AND BABY DUST - Kayleigh Irwin

I am back, and ready!

Well needless to say..

Im in a very determined mood lately. 

Things have been harder and harder to take :(

I have two people very close to me (one younger then me

and one older then me) who recently announced they are having 

their second child when  their firsts are just toddlers. 

We havent been lucky enough to have our first one.

Since their announcements I have been a wreck. Crying 

all the time, mood swings out the wazoo. And in a straight

self pity-party status. Im tired of feeling this way, Im tired of 

feeling like I am less of a woman. I want to just hold the child 

I have so many vivid dreams about. I have woke up before looking 

for that precious soul I dream about. :,( 

Well thats it!

Im no longer feeling that way,

 I may still cry I am a woman, haha

I have in the last month been to the OBGYN twice.

And I got great news.. so far! My right Ovary which was removed,

 has now grown back. I mean there is still no eggs there now but 

it is a start. My pap test was all in the clear too! And on March 9th

we go to see our first fertility specialist in GA. Getting all

 around testing done on us both and will have same day 

results, and believe me I cant wait to share any good

news we will continue to get! 

Positive mind, Positive life.